New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Randomize
