Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
