Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
