Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
