Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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