Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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