Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
