She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
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