I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Two words: blizzard sex
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
