Kiss
Puke
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
