I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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