let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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