I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
