oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize
