Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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