My nipple is on Facebook.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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