Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
