Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
