grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
