"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
