My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
