your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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