ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
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