He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Randomize
