Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Quick, to the slutcave!
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
