im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
