I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
