Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I just forgot I was standing up.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Randomize
