im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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