chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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