I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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