we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
