You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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