i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Randomize
