I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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