Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
