Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
