Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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