in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
