dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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