Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
