hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
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