I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
My ass is underappreciated
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Randomize
