He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
