8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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