he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
