yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Four minutes until I can fart!
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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