So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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