Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
