I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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