I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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