let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
