me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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